I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
