sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
