Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
