I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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