Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
