that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back