Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??

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  (541): I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!?? http://tfl.nu/tgko
  Replies (8) Good night (499) Bad night (2261) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.

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  (601): I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water. http://tfl.nu/8w2r
  Replies (42) Good night (4833) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed

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  (617): Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed http://tfl.nu/d8dr
  Replies (15) Good night (3269) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...

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  (617): Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh... http://tfl.nu/to9x
  Replies (16) Good night (4526) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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  (910): This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods. http://tfl.nu/a6lo
  Replies (11) Good night (4814) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit

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  (310): He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit http://tfl.nu/vjau
  Replies (17) Good night (628) Bad night (5611) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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  (713): You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation". http://tfl.nu/47p5
  Replies (8) Good night (2421) Bad night (1557) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine

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  (586): We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine http://tfl.nu/mpc6
  Replies (15) Good night (2759) Bad night (1437) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

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  (317): Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship. http://tfl.nu/wcss
  Replies (8) Good night (1906) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..

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  (779): We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time.. http://tfl.nu/hdfa
  Replies (2) Good night (2081) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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  (619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3
  Replies (4) Good night (1343) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!

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  (504): My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving! http://tfl.nu/frqw
  Replies (1) Good night (836) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.

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  (513): Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too. http://tfl.nu/c992
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....

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  (480): There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night.... http://tfl.nu/234u
  Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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  (573): Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals http://tfl.nu/3npx
  Replies (5) Good night (566) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt

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