paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.