Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
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