Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
