Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
