I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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