We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
