$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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