Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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