I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
