I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
