It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
