I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
