TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
