tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
