Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
