I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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