***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize