We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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