My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
