My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
