First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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