Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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