apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
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My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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