Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
