We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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