I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
