I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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