plz talk dirty to me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You ate ashes out of my bong
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
