Quick, to the slutcave!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We don't watch enough power rangers
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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