I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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