she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
