i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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