Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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