im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
