so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
