i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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