ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
