I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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