Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
