i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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