You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
