I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
