I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
