pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize
