Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize