Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
