I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
