I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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