Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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