White coat. Heels.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
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i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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