and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think my moral compass just broke
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