hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
